Monday, January 03, 2011

Suicide

Let's face it, when everything is stripping away life is worth living. Those that disagree, and lets face it also that most of us have been or will be there at least once, no those that disagree have to be under the impression that the is something else after the last breath has been taken. So you either give in to hope or have to come to the conclusion that living is better then the alternative no matter what your circumstance.


Feeling pain is better then not feeling at all. It may not sound attractive and the notion of “ending it all” might feel an option but in truth it can't be. People only want to “end it all” because they don't understand what that means. You can't choose nothing unless you understand what nothing is. Nothing is not nill or zero or nought. Nothing is unique it's not a book full of blank pages or even an empty bucket. It's not dust or a blank expression.


People can't understand the state of not existing, this is nothing. In it's best form it may be waking up to a bright sunny day by the sea. In it's worst form it maybe waking to rain in the smog every day. Either one of these states is in fact existing even if the you only know that by the pain you are in.


Not existing doesn't take away the pain, it takes away the you.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Man

At the start the was man.

And man spends his days hunting and looking for shelter.

Then came intellect.

Man now shelters where there is plenty of food.

Man learned to store food so doesn't have to hunt every day.

But intellect is not distributed evenly and soon man's stored food goes missing. Not understanding this man goes out hunting for more food.
Man comes back to find some other bugger has moved into his shelter.

And man spends his days hunting and looking for shelter.

Repeat for ............all time

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Truth

I looked into your eyes and fall from my world.

Truth, for you a blunt weapon hanging over our heads or perhaps on a gentle day a splash of ice water on an ignorant face. But for me it was a look in your eyes that sent me tumbling from my world. And now all I am is the past, all I want is understanding and all I need is to be left alone.

Early years of growing confident flowers that bloomed in a breeze of innocent adolescence. The scent of which masked the self doubt and generated my sense of fashion while killing my hidden hunger just to be liked. Quickly replaced by a yarning for my love to be reflected back from you.

That meeting point sealing my new world in a bubble of mirrors as our love glowed in a new sky every morning. But with youth comes ignorance and although my new walls kept me comfortable and warm, outside truth is always prowling in the darkness.

Now I'm more happy with it's victims, yet I don't recognise anyone not even myself. Where does the line between gullible and victim start and end ? Is it me or is you ? And if it's you what truth did you see in me that broke your walls down. All I know is I looked in your eyes and truth stepped from the darkness.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I'm Dead - Part One

I woke up one morning, found out I was dead.

A short period of stress being replaced by the look normally reserved for the a first blow job or indeed any blow job if delivered with as a pleasant surprise. Slowly the cold realisation of my plight sank in and surprisingly I found comfort in knowing that the was THAT something after death that filled most ghost stories, indeed the end is not the end. So if it's not the end and it's new to me - it must be a beginning then.

A drying out of the cold sweet, a new fear raced into my veins like cold rain down the side of a rocky mountain side. Not so much what is this? but why is this?.

We have ideas implanted almost from birth, some nice, like father Christmas, but some not so nice. This was very much well over the fence which separated the foxes from the chickens or the child from the down right nasty bastards. The why I'm doing my best to avoid is the one that says if you don't do X or do you won't go to heaven. I clearly hadn't gone to heaven. Unless that is god has the same taste in wallpaper.

I wasn't subjected to much religious dumbing while I was alive but rather unfairly like everyone else I was forced to make a decision about this thing called god. I didn't one day decide I was coming down on the side that father Christmas didn't really exist and other people might strongly disagree and try to convince me of his existence for the rest of my life. Now is that day of judgement, have I been judged? have I been declined entrance? and will I be left to walk the path of the undead ? Hay if god is now a proven fact why not the undead, right ?

Monday, January 07, 2008

Vista Evaluation Copy: Build 6001

Microsoft in their wisdom have let loose on their customer a Evaluation copy of the next service pack. After installing this Service Pack 1 on the second reboot it puts a nice little message on the desktop in the bottom right hand corner. The message says "Vista Evaluation Copy: Build 6001".

This is going to concern many people that their valid lisence is now not valid. And already a lot of "do gooders" are claiming to have the answer to this "issue" from phoning to reactivate your copy of Vista to running a given script to remove the message.

The fact is this is only a evaluation service pack, the licence of which runs untill the 30th of June 2008. So you or rather Microsoft have till that date to issue the full final service pack. At that time you will uninstall this one and install the new one.

If you unistall the service pack now you will still get the message but it will drop back to 6000 build not 6001. It remains to be seen if all customers who install the final service pack will have to reactivate their copy of Vista but if you do decide to do it now you might still have to do it at that time. My advice leave it, the is plenty of time to see how this pans out.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Minting Truth and Justice.

Point the finger, put them though the ringer.
These days it's easy to know.

Place the blame, targets for shame.
These days it's easy to know.

Rip into them, don't hold back.
These days it's easy to know.

It's all there in the papers so it has to be right.
Unless that's your name in print,unable to fight.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

New Football Panto

I know we are in the festive time and in this time fairy tales and fantasy are seen as a normal part of our lives but this Johnson v Mourinho spat really takes it to a new level doesn't it?

On one hand we have a player who in the past has shown he's in capable of putting a foot in the penality area without falling on his *** as if he was a penguin taking his first steps on the antartic ice. He's saying "I feel greatly disappointed that my integrity as a footballer has been unfairly questioned."

Andy old chap, you integrity isn't being questioned, anyone who has seen you play knows exactly what you are lad, you a cheating little oik.

Now on the other hand we have Mourinho, a manager who flits from being the defender of Droba (the reincarnation of Jurgen Klinsman the man who brought perfetic diving to the English game) and Steve Wonder when it comes to seeing the antics of his own players "For me when a player chases a penalty, he is no longer an intelligent player." and all this view his view in the heavens that he shares with the other gods it seems.

Jos son, what does that make Droba and the thugs in your midfeild?

Pretty soon now I'm sure the credits will start rolling and we'll discover the part of Andy the light hearted jester was played by David Jason (he of Fools & Horses fame) while the ugly sister role as always is played by Christopher Biggins.

Script by Roald Dahl

Friday, November 24, 2006

Lottery Scams

I get three or four of these lottery scams each week. I'm sure I'm on someone's "Thick People Who Will Fall For Anything List" but this latest one is really taking the mick.

Sure the Yahoo email address would fool anyone but what really gives it away is the images at the top and those Union Jacks are animated in the email!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Made me laugh anyway

Friday, October 06, 2006

Culture clash

Today the news in the uk is dominated by a story of government Cabinet Minister Jack Straw saying he would prefer Muslim women not to wear veils which cover the face. He believes that covering people's faces could make community relations more difficult and I think he’s got a good point. Like most things in the Muslim religion, well at least the parts of it I’ve been exposed to, it’s very difficult to even discuss this openly. But I'm surprised that no comparison has been seen with the above and the banning of what are called "hoodies" in some UK shopping centres. Because the faces of people wearing hooded coats can not be seen either. Someone's rights here are being opressed but I'm not sure who. Ok, I'm expressing a sever lack of understand, I agree, but the minister does have a point.

If you face someone they have a right to know who they are addressing. Personally I hate talking to people just wearing sunglasses. I sort think it shows a lack of respect somehow. I wonder how far these hardline Muslin woman take this thing? I mean if they object to showing their face to someone they have gone to for help (MP) would they be the same with a doctor ? or even a judge ? Personally I think some religions have not kept pace with the times we live in. A lot need updating as nothing stays the same and that's true about this as anything else.

We all should relax a bit but to me, being surrounded by Muslims is very much like being around a wife who just found out you forgot her birthday. It’s very much "a walking on eggshells" day every day in the UK. I suspect other non-Muslim countries with large Muslim populations are the same. Should we try going to Iran and demanding the same culture as in the UK? I suspect not. In fact, even as I write I half expect a torrent of abuse from angry people whose sole aim in life seems to be to segregate themselves from every non-Muslim person.

As I see it every religion in the world first should question itself and open it’s arms to debate. Ok, that also gives them the chance to try and convert but hay ! at least you can say “Your talking crap pal” to a Jahova's Witness without having your life threatened in return.

I spend most my redundant mind thinking about how I could fix the world. That’s so easy when you don’t have that job but to be honest I don’t see any answer to this. One is a run-away train and the other is an hillside before the tunnel was cut though. We non-Muslims are going to continue to question and expand our understanding of the world we live in but Muslims are just going to get more and more angry at us when we tread over their self-imposed thresholds, the boarders they put up in the face of those seeking to question their religion.

I’m not saying they don’t have the right to practice as they wish but others have rights to. The main right for most non-Muslim countries is, if vague, right to free speech and fair comment. The minister was only expressing his own opinion.

All have a right to maintain our own culture. Yes it’s amazing you don’t have to be black to have a culture, surprise!. I don’t see a solution in the UK where the indigenous population accept people will come and set-up mini-cultures while at the same time those mini-cultures don’t accept the law of a culture that has accepted them.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Computers

I used to love messing about with computers. Spent many hours reading computer magazines, the letters page is most informative. But after after many years working with them, getting to grips with whatevers new in terms of fitting or fiddles, I can honestly say I hate the buggers now. Can't stand to open the box and fast losing the will to use them at all, even surfing has gone out the window as it's so boring to me.

Thing is I'm tight so I'll not pay someone to do what I can do myself and that why I decided to do the latest upgrade and why I find myself more annoyed then ever.

It's all so complicated now with Sata1 & sata2, ATX, DDR1 -2, PCI, AGP E-PCI for fuck sake ! and that's before you get on to processors and speeeds. I was so swomped with all that could go wrong that I spent an whole day overlooking the simple mistake I made that stops my PC booting up after all the new bizz bangs had been screwed in place.

Was it the PSU (that power supply to the sensable), was it strong enough ?, was it the DDR ? should it be DRR2 ? or perhaps it was just flaky. Then again it could be the Video Card. It might say it takes AGP or E_PCI but it also has a warning that a 3.3volt card could damage the motherboard. My card seems 1.3v but then again my research investing why this bugger wouldn't boot led me to the info that some 3.3v card where made to look like 1.3v cards. Then at the back of my mind was that I was't unto date and anyone of the old parts I was re-using might not work with this new mainboard.

Someone once said "don't put down to malise what you can put down to stupidity" I should have followed that advice while looking into why this bugger wouldn't start because in the end it was down the the mainboard shorting against an unused spacer stud under it !!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

The secret about me

I could be the one to set you free.
Give hope, faith and even charity.

When your low don't rush, wait and see.
I'll help you be what you want to be.

When you've lost everything you own.
When everything is spent or on loan.
When you have to find the rent.
When cards are no longer sent.

If you choose to believe in me.
The Miracles you wish for you may even see.

The power you seek is not define.
Don't lay your neck on that line.
Just believe in me and it’ll be fine.

No, don't despair and no, no needs for pray.
Find a mirror, what's in there.

What's the secret you'll get from me?
Strength to fight and will to win maybe.
A shoulder to cry on nightly?
A candle to hold and burn brightly?

No, the truth is there in sight with no fee.
Just open your eyes, you will see.
The answer is easy, you are me.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Austria Images

Here are a few images I was messing about with. They are recently taken by me while in Austria. I am using them for backgrounds on my computer right now. I'm no photo expert but if any interest you then feel free to use them. If you want anything different then format you let me know. The images were taken in HQ 2200px width so I should be able to convert them most ways. Also got some video I might upload.




















Love War

War is not pointless to those who start it.
A pointless life is avoided being part of it.
Don't cry to me, gun in hand, gathering your belonging and fleeing your land.
Bake a cake as the bomb comes, leaving the rest of your days for picking up the crumbs.
Pray for the liar, he knows ashes are best for starting the new fire.
Burn and smile, but don't spill a drop as you travel million tears a mile to join the new flock.
War is not pointless for those who don't fight it.
A pointless point is made by those who don't start it.
Flesh from bones and teeth left standing as nature struggles but keeps her hand in.
For those who accept them souls survive, blind won't see the truth as they arrive.
Kill kill kill to cure the hate as friend fights friend and mate kills mate.
Stand up and shoot shoot shoot if you want to be free free free.
Free to choose who will kill me me and me.
War is not pointless for those who agree.
A pointless bullet is killing we.

Bye Sven



"Sven" is that Swedish for question mark ?

The history books will show the report on this man's career in English football, as the song goes, "The are more questions then answers".

Forget the selections, substitutions and the formations. Even forget the big one about why? after two years planning for this world cup he sent the side out playing a system they had never even tried in the past. You can forget the questions surrounding including of a player who hadn't even played a premiership game for his club and the damage that may have done to the the young Walcot himself, sitting watching it all after all the fuss in the media about his inclusion some weeks before. No, all these can be answered by the same reponse, the man is inept.

The questions that will never get answers are - How the man got extra millions of pounds out of the FA for failing to deliver success in any form and how this specky eyed, balding nerd bedded what seemed any female he met along the road.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Spiders need better PR

They are small, the vast majority are harmless and almost all provide a decent service as part of the machine that is nature. Yet, the sight of one can send some people into total panic and most of us fear them to some degree. So where did the Spider go wrong ?

I tend to think it's not so much what they did but how long they have been around. I mean if you consider your own average week, perhaps you'll annoy one or two people or perhaps really piss someone off (especially if you are a driver). Perhaps in our lifetime of say 80 years we might even upset one or two enough for them to want us dead. Well for the spider multiply that buy a million or so years and you see how they suffer for just being around so long. It's a bit like the Microsoft bad service idea were you might find one million people who have a gripe but that reflects less then one per cent of their customers.

But spiders have a number of other problems too. Firstly their looks, ugly buggers or what ? In history Ugly = Evil. It's common sense, if god is in everything beautifull & good then the devil is in everything ugly & bad. Their passion for sneaking up on people doesn't help either does it.

Myself I stopped killing spiders a long time ago so if you have more around you then you can blame me :-) I don't like them enough to invite them around for Sunday tea but I'm happy to share my space with them and even clean up after the buggers. Be nice to a spider today.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Fake people Fake world

Talking of America - We've turned into this nation of overfed clowns, riding around in clown cars, eating clown food, watching clown shows. We've become a nation of cringing, craven fuckups." --James Howard Kunstler, author of "The Long Emergency"

It's not just the states sorry, no I'm not going to join in the general knocking that goes on there. I would broaden this to most of the modern world. The virtual world of the internet is fast becoming what is real while life "as we knew it" is fast disappearing under a blanket of commercially generated vanity.

Do you know what the person you woke up with really looks like or started out looking like ?


People now are simply fake, fake in appearance, fake in opinion and even fake in smell. Even our homes now are filled with fake items, well they always was but the fake smell is there too. Whatever happened to getting back to nature ?

Monday, May 29, 2006

World Cup Betting Ramble


Plenty of fun can be had betting on the world cup. My own personal favorite is to bet on the "next goal" markets. I'll choose a game like England v Trinidad & Tobago and put £50 on England at odds about 1.2 (this means a win would return £10 profit). Doesn't sound a lot but keep doing it during a high scoring one-sided game and you can easily double or treble your starting amount. My own opinion is if England don't beat this team 5-0 it's a major shock and I expect at least 7-0.

As for the winner, I look no further then Germany for the value bet. Among the many reasons for this are; They are the hosts and that counts for a lot. The pastournamentsts have shown the host countries often perform above expectation. Germany have had four years to plan and prepare without the need to worry about qualification games. The one thing most Germans can do well is prepare. Germany seldom under perform in the world cup but the their world ranking (now 19th) has suffered over the last few years, so they will be now at a much better price for what is an home event remember.

So what of England ? Well, the fact the cup finals are this year back in Europe should also help all Europeanan teams. So if not Germany then perhaps England but my own fear is their defencive organisationon is too weak. Against top teams they depend a lot on the midfeild to cover, this blunts their own attacking options. Rooney or not, I fear it's yet another semi-final defeat and perhaps on penalties yet again.

The Market - I don't think the winner will come form outside this group.
Brazil 3.5
Germany 9.5
France 15
Holland 15
Czech Republic 34

But if you want an outsider that could surprise try Croatia at 67

Push to Start

So it's going then, just got to keep it going now.