Suicide

Let's face it, when everything is stripping away life is worth living. Those that disagree, and lets face it also that most of us have been or will be there at least once, no those that disagree have to be under the impression that the is something else after the last breath has been taken. So you either give in to hope or have to come to the conclusion that living is better then the alternative no matter what your circumstance.

Feeling pain is better then not feeling at all. It may not sound attractive and the notion of “ending it all” might feel an option but in truth it can't be. People only want to “end it all” because they don't understand what that means. You can't choose nothing unless you understand what nothing is. Nothing is not nill or zero or nought. Nothing is unique it's not a book full of blank pages or even an empty bucket. It's not dust or a blank expression.

People can't understand the state of not existing, this is nothing. In it's best form it may be waking up to a bright sunny day by the sea. In it's worst form it maybe waking to rain in the smog every day. Either one of these states is in fact existing even if the you only know that by the pain you are in.

Not existing doesn't take away the pain, it takes away the you.

Man

At the start the was man.

And man spends his days hunting and looking for shelter.

Then came intellect.

Man now shelters where there is plenty of food.

Man learned to store food so doesn't have to hunt every day.

But intellect is not distributed evenly and soon man's stored food goes missing. Not understanding this man goes out hunting for more food.
Man comes back to find some other bugger has moved into his shelter.

And man spends his days hunting and looking for shelter.

Repeat for ............all time

Truth

I looked into your eyes and fall from my world.

Truth, for you a blunt weapon hanging over our heads or perhaps on a gentle day a splash of ice water on an ignorant face. But for me it was a look in your eyes that sent me tumbling from my world. And now all I am is the past, all I want is understanding and all I need is to be left alone.

Early years of growing confident flowers that bloomed in a breeze of innocent adolescence. The scent of which masked the self doubt and generated my sense of fashion while killing my hidden hunger just to be liked. Quickly replaced by a yarning for my love to be reflected back from you.

That meeting point sealing my new world in a bubble of mirrors as our love glowed in a new sky every morning. But with youth comes ignorance and although my new walls kept me comfortable and warm, outside truth is always prowling in the darkness.

Now I'm more happy with it's victims, yet I don't recognise anyone not even myself. Where does the line between gullible and victim start and end ? Is it me or is you ? And if it's you what truth did you see in me that broke your walls down. All I know is I looked in your eyes and truth stepped from the darkness.

I'm Dead - Part One

I woke up one morning, found out I was dead.

A short period of stress being replaced by the look normally reserved for the a first blow job or indeed any blow job if delivered with as a pleasant surprise. Slowly the cold realisation of my plight sank in and surprisingly I found comfort in knowing that the was THAT something after death that filled most ghost stories, indeed the end is not the end. So if it's not the end and it's new to me - it must be a beginning then.

A drying out of the cold sweet, a new fear raced into my veins like cold rain down the side of a rocky mountain side. Not so much what is this? but why is this?.

We have ideas implanted almost from birth, some nice, like father Christmas, but some not so nice. This was very much well over the fence which separated the foxes from the chickens or the child from the down right nasty bastards. The why I'm doing my best to avoid is the one that says if you don't do X or do you won't go to heaven. I clearly hadn't gone to heaven. Unless that is god has the same taste in wallpaper.

I wasn't subjected to much religious dumbing while I was alive but rather unfairly like everyone else I was forced to make a decision about this thing called god. I didn't one day decide I was coming down on the side that father Christmas didn't really exist and other people might strongly disagree and try to convince me of his existence for the rest of my life. Now is that day of judgement, have I been judged? have I been declined entrance? and will I be left to walk the path of the undead ? Hay if god is now a proven fact why not the undead, right ?

Vista Evaluation Copy: Build 6001

Microsoft in their wisdom have let loose on their customer a Evaluation copy of the next service pack. After installing this Service Pack 1 on the second reboot it puts a nice little message on the desktop in the bottom right hand corner. The message says "Vista Evaluation Copy: Build 6001".

This is going to concern many people that their valid lisence is now not valid. And already a lot of "do gooders" are claiming to have the answer to this "issue" from phoning to reactivate your copy of Vista to running a given script to remove the message.

The fact is this is only a evaluation service pack, the licence of which runs untill the 30th of June 2008. So you or rather Microsoft have till that date to issue the full final service pack. At that time you will uninstall this one and install the new one.

If you unistall the service pack now you will still get the message but it will drop back to 6000 build not 6001. It remains to be seen if all customers who install the final service pack will have to reactivate their copy of Vista but if you do decide to do it now you might still have to do it at that time. My advice leave it, the is plenty of time to see how this pans out.

Minting Truth and Justice.

Point the finger, put them though the ringer.
These days it's easy to know.

Place the blame, targets for shame.
These days it's easy to know.

Rip into them, don't hold back.
These days it's easy to know.

It's all there in the papers so it has to be right.
Unless that's your name in print,unable to fight.

New Football Panto

I know we are in the festive time and in this time fairy tales and fantasy are seen as a normal part of our lives but this Johnson v Mourinho spat really takes it to a new level doesn't it?

On one hand we have a player who in the past has shown he's in capable of putting a foot in the penality area without falling on his *** as if he was a penguin taking his first steps on the antartic ice. He's saying "I feel greatly disappointed that my integrity as a footballer has been unfairly questioned."

Andy old chap, you integrity isn't being questioned, anyone who has seen you play knows exactly what you are lad, you a cheating little oik.

Now on the other hand we have Mourinho, a manager who flits from being the defender of Droba (the reincarnation of Jurgen Klinsman the man who brought perfetic diving to the English game) and Steve Wonder when it comes to seeing the antics of his own players "For me when a player chases a penalty, he is no longer an intelligent player." and all this view his view in the heavens that he shares with the other gods it seems.

Jos son, what does that make Droba and the thugs in your midfeild?

Pretty soon now I'm sure the credits will start rolling and we'll discover the part of Andy the light hearted jester was played by David Jason (he of Fools & Horses fame) while the ugly sister role as always is played by Christopher Biggins.

Script by Roald Dahl